1
00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:29,890
Oh! Oh... Uh!
2
00:00:29,891 --> 00:00:31,759
What? (gasps) No!
3
00:00:31,139 --> 00:00:33,374
Lin, you gotta stop
reading the police blotter.
4
00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:35,009
It just makes you mad.
5
00:00:35,010 --> 00:00:38,128
Why would someone steal
the sign for Ball Street?
6
00:00:38,129 --> 00:00:39,480
Oh. (laughs)
7
00:00:39,481 --> 00:00:41,115
Oh, God, what is this town coming to?
8
00:00:41,532 --> 00:00:43,717
It's going to crap. Tell me about it.
9
00:00:43,718 --> 00:00:45,835
Somebody threw a snow cone
at my windshield today.
10
00:00:45,836 --> 00:00:47,187
I thought I hit a rainbow.
11
00:00:47,188 --> 00:00:48,888
It was terrifying. Oh, come on.
12
00:00:48,889 --> 00:00:52,158
I don't think this
town is going to crap.
13
00:00:52,193 --> 00:00:54,677
(engines roaring)
14
00:01:01,535 --> 00:01:03,069
That's my 2:00.
15
00:01:03,070 --> 00:01:04,404
The One Eyed Snakes motorcycle club.
16
00:01:04,405 --> 00:01:06,539
Their chapter president died gruesomely.
17
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:08,069
I'm doing the service.
18
00:01:08,075 --> 00:01:10,343
That explains why you're
wearing leather pants.
19
00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:12,879
Been waiting forever to bust these out.
20
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,197
He looks like Prince.
21
00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:15,799
He looks like fat, white Prince.
22
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,411
MORT: Look, but don't touch, fellas.
23
00:01:17,435 --> 00:01:20,039
(boy grunting)
24
00:01:22,306 --> 00:01:24,941
Oh, no, these are the guys
who took over the Steps.
25
00:01:24,942 --> 00:01:26,242
I heard they pick on kids.
26
00:01:26,243 --> 00:01:27,811
Wait. I'm a kid!
27
00:01:27,812 --> 00:01:29,378
Come on. Let's take the long way.
28
00:01:29,379 --> 00:01:31,231
I'm not afraid of some high school kids.
29
00:01:31,232 --> 00:01:32,799
Watch a-this.
30
00:01:34,051 --> 00:01:35,318
(humming nonchalantly)
31
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:37,520
Hey, hey. You can't walk here.
32
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,767
Oh, my gosh, I can't walk here?
33
00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:41,977
Oh, look, it's a miracle! I'm walking!
34
00:01:41,992 --> 00:01:43,560
Shut your butts, coconuts.
35
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:45,595
But you said I couldn't,
but I'm doing it.
36
00:01:45,596 --> 00:01:47,197
But I want your butt to shut.
37
00:01:47,231 --> 00:01:49,065
Oh, listen to the hum
of my butt. (humming)
38
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,302
Oh, listen to this: clap,
clap shut, clap it shut!
39
00:01:52,303 --> 00:01:53,586
See ya later!
40
00:01:53,587 --> 00:01:55,422
Have a great life!
41
00:01:55,423 --> 00:01:56,909
Oh, already havin' it!
42
00:02:00,594 --> 00:02:02,145
(mimics gunshots)
43
00:02:02,146 --> 00:02:04,375
Meow, meow, meow! (gunshots) Meow!
44
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,268
? ?
45
00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:19,095
This memorial jam has been
going on for 21 minutes.
46
00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:21,431
I just wonder if I should fade it out.
47
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,149
This was Horny Dave's favorite jam.
48
00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:24,484
Keep it cranked.
49
00:02:24,485 --> 00:02:25,835
Horny Dave's favorite jam?
50
00:02:25,836 --> 00:02:27,337
This is my favorite jam.
51
00:02:27,338 --> 00:02:28,649
Keep it cranked, Eddie!
52
00:02:31,142 --> 00:02:33,309
(bottle breaks)
53
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:35,445
Oh, God, don't come
here, no, no, no, no.
54
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,464
Welcome! You serve beer?
55
00:02:37,465 --> 00:02:39,065
We... do not.
56
00:02:39,099 --> 00:02:40,700
What's that?
57
00:02:40,701 --> 00:02:43,303
That is beer. Sorry, we do. I lied.
58
00:02:43,304 --> 00:02:45,088
Let's drink to Horny Dave.
59
00:02:45,122 --> 00:02:46,840
To Horny Dave!
60
00:02:49,059 --> 00:02:51,338
What are you talking about?
61
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,164
Yeah! (laughs)
62
00:02:54,165 --> 00:02:56,799
Um, the woman who won
that drinking contest,
63
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,967
she's pregnant, right?
64
00:02:57,968 --> 00:02:59,435
Well, they say in moderation.
65
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,521
Hey, man, they don't
judge your lifestyle,
66
00:03:01,522 --> 00:03:03,823
you buttoned-down pencil pusher. What?
67
00:03:03,824 --> 00:03:05,558
Sorry, Bobby, this
motorcycle thing's contagious.
68
00:03:05,559 --> 00:03:07,961
I kinda want to go out
and get a bike tonight.
69
00:03:07,962 --> 00:03:09,312
Hassle shopkeepers.
"Hey, old man!" You know?
70
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:10,830
"You don't know me.
71
00:03:10,831 --> 00:03:12,999
I'll break your window
and hit ya with a bat."
72
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,534
Sounds like a great idea, Teddy.
73
00:03:14,535 --> 00:03:15,668
Ah, maybe not.
74
00:03:15,669 --> 00:03:17,070
Probably just watch a hockey game.
75
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,872
To Horny Dave! A helluva man!
76
00:03:18,873 --> 00:03:20,156
A helluva friend!
77
00:03:20,157 --> 00:03:21,202
A helluva lover!
78
00:03:23,928 --> 00:03:25,545
Uh, they broke more bottles.
79
00:03:27,181 --> 00:03:29,849
Whoa, looks like our restaurant
just got a lot edgier.
80
00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:31,251
Hope I can still get in.
81
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,652
You probably can't.
82
00:03:32,653 --> 00:03:34,006
I'll meet you guys after.
83
00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:35,688
I like your lid.
84
00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:37,790
I like your vest... what's left of it.
85
00:03:37,825 --> 00:03:39,826
Yep, these colors have
been to hell and back.
86
00:03:39,827 --> 00:03:41,127
Part of 'em stayed in hell.
87
00:03:41,161 --> 00:03:42,562
What are those pretty buttons?
88
00:03:42,596 --> 00:03:44,264
Oh, these patches?
89
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,228
Well, we got this one
for... tickling a cop.
90
00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:48,968
Cool! What's that one for?
91
00:03:49,003 --> 00:03:52,483
For not being associated
with the white power movement.
92
00:03:52,506 --> 00:03:53,817
And what's that one for?
93
00:03:53,841 --> 00:03:55,942
For blowing up a bunch...
94
00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:57,377
of balloons...
95
00:03:57,378 --> 00:03:58,694
for kids like you.
96
00:03:58,695 --> 00:04:00,129
Just an ordinary day
97
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:02,576
here at Bob's Burgers, right, kids?
98
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,367
Nice place. I'm Critter, by the way.
99
00:04:04,368 --> 00:04:06,102
Uh, Bob.
100
00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:08,087
Yeah, I'm the, uh, chapter
president of these fellas.
101
00:04:08,088 --> 00:04:10,390
Horny Dave was, till his grisly death.
102
00:04:10,391 --> 00:04:12,325
Well, I'm sure you don't
want to talk about it, so...
103
00:04:12,326 --> 00:04:14,360
Yeah, he got into a wreck
with a semi, all right.
104
00:04:14,361 --> 00:04:15,662
Real fiery. Mm-hmm.
105
00:04:15,663 --> 00:04:17,497
By the time they pulled him out,
106
00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:19,565
his entire lower half, the
horny half, was roasted.
107
00:04:19,566 --> 00:04:21,470
That's why Horny Dave's
vest here is in tatters.
108
00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:22,869
Um, it looks nice.
109
00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:24,637
No, it doesn't, Bob. No, it doesn't.
110
00:04:24,638 --> 00:04:26,255
This vest is supposed to make me look
111
00:04:26,256 --> 00:04:28,157
like the unquestioned
leader of this club,
112
00:04:28,158 --> 00:04:29,726
but instead I, I just look foolish. Mm.
113
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,379
Whoa! Statch! Nasty Slim! Cool it!
114
00:04:33,414 --> 00:04:36,499
See? Horny Dave was just a better
leader. If we were fighting,
115
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,851
he'd come out and he'd say,
"Let's go cook some meth!"
116
00:04:38,852 --> 00:04:40,820
And we would, and we'd
forget all our troubles.
117
00:04:40,821 --> 00:04:42,171
That sounds nice.
118
00:04:42,172 --> 00:04:43,506
Maybe we should cook meth.
119
00:04:43,507 --> 00:04:45,041
I wanna forget my troubles.
120
00:04:45,042 --> 00:04:46,342
God bless this meth.
121
00:04:46,343 --> 00:04:47,910
Kids, go inside.
122
00:04:47,911 --> 00:04:49,912
So, uh, that's your old lady, huh?
123
00:04:49,947 --> 00:04:51,881
Uh, yeah. She goes by "Linda."
124
00:04:51,882 --> 00:04:54,250
Or Dragon. Whichever.
125
00:04:54,251 --> 00:04:55,685
So is that your old lady?
126
00:04:55,719 --> 00:04:57,870
No, Mudflap was Horny Dave's.
127
00:04:57,905 --> 00:04:59,072
She's a special woman.
128
00:04:59,073 --> 00:05:00,573
She can open a beer with her boobs.
129
00:05:00,574 --> 00:05:02,358
Mine can't do that. It's an art.
130
00:05:02,359 --> 00:05:04,427
TINA: Whoa! Ha-ha!
131
00:05:04,461 --> 00:05:05,745
BOB: Oh, my!
132
00:05:05,746 --> 00:05:07,224
Mm-hmm. Thank you. Thank you.
133
00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:08,765
Now I want them.
134
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,533
Is that a requirement
for being in the club?
135
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:13,619
Wish it was that easy.
Initiation was tough.
136
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:16,272
Mudflap beat the snot out of
some poser in Macon, Georgia
137
00:05:16,273 --> 00:05:17,924
one fine day in spring.
138
00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:19,358
Got her colors that night.
139
00:05:19,359 --> 00:05:20,910
It was fall. It was spring.
140
00:05:20,911 --> 00:05:22,779
I remember because the
azaleas were in bloom.
141
00:05:22,813 --> 00:05:24,731
Ooh, azaleas.
142
00:05:24,732 --> 00:05:26,733
Oh, the azaleas are beautiful in Macon.
143
00:05:26,734 --> 00:05:27,934
Second only to their crank.
144
00:05:27,935 --> 00:05:30,247
That sweet Macon crank. Oh.
145
00:05:30,270 --> 00:05:32,405
What's crank? Like meth's dirty cousin.
146
00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:34,290
Oh, we're gonna cook meth.
147
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,658
Oh... ha-ha.
148
00:05:35,659 --> 00:05:37,260
Okay, time for bed, sweeties. Come on.
149
00:05:37,156 --> 00:05:39,624
Can I bring a biker with
me to tell me stories?
150
00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:40,825
No, you may not.
151
00:05:40,826 --> 00:05:42,310
Please...?
152
00:05:42,311 --> 00:05:43,561
Just one! No.
153
00:05:43,562 --> 00:05:45,346
All right, everybody.
154
00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,832
We drank the place dry. Let's ride!
155
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,801
BIKER: Come on, lil'
sweetheart. Jump on back.
156
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,752
I'm sure they have
designated drivers, so...
157
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,587
This should cover the damage.
158
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,555
Sorry there's blood on some of it.
159
00:05:55,812 --> 00:05:58,614
Huh. Oh...
160
00:05:58,615 --> 00:06:00,216
Oh, one last thing. Here.
161
00:06:00,217 --> 00:06:01,317
What's this?
162
00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:02,952
Means we owe you one.
163
00:06:02,953 --> 00:06:04,854
Put it in your window.
Nobody will mess with you.
164
00:06:04,855 --> 00:06:06,288
Uh, except maybe the Buzzard Kings.
165
00:06:06,289 --> 00:06:07,857
They might throw a
Molotov cocktail in here.
166
00:06:07,858 --> 00:06:09,225
You call me if they do.
167
00:06:09,226 --> 00:06:11,694
Uh! No, no. Right in the window.
168
00:06:15,283 --> 00:06:18,401
So, we've got this now.
169
00:06:18,402 --> 00:06:20,706
GENE: Uh-oh, we're
crossing paths again.
170
00:06:20,737 --> 00:06:21,837
We're crossing paths!
171
00:06:21,838 --> 00:06:23,072
Hey, remember when I told you
172
00:06:23,073 --> 00:06:24,540
not to come around here?
173
00:06:24,574 --> 00:06:26,542
Guess not. I'm not so good with history.
174
00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:27,643
Me, neither!
175
00:06:27,644 --> 00:06:28,911
I'm pretty good at history,
176
00:06:28,912 --> 00:06:30,379
but I have some problems with math.
177
00:06:30,414 --> 00:06:32,515
Well, I'm taking a course in the future.
178
00:06:32,516 --> 00:06:34,016
You know what happens in the future?
179
00:06:34,017 --> 00:06:35,384
We walk right past you.
180
00:06:35,419 --> 00:06:37,720
Uh! I just want no little kids around me
181
00:06:37,721 --> 00:06:39,255
when I'm decompressing after school.
182
00:06:39,256 --> 00:06:41,090
I'm trying to create
a relaxed environment,
183
00:06:41,091 --> 00:06:42,708
I'm making my friends feel comfortable,
184
00:06:42,709 --> 00:06:45,211
and then you come by
with all ts attitude!
185
00:06:45,245 --> 00:06:47,179
Hey, you don't want
to mess with my sister.
186
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:48,647
She'll wear down your self-esteem
187
00:06:48,648 --> 00:06:50,182
over a period of years.
188
00:06:50,183 --> 00:06:51,550
Mm-hmm. Shut up,
four-eyes. Oh.
189
00:06:51,551 --> 00:06:54,003
I'm talkin' to four-ears.
190
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:57,005
With four ears, I can
ignore you twice as hard.
191
00:06:57,006 --> 00:06:58,607
What, what? What, what?
192
00:06:58,608 --> 00:07:01,027
You've pushed me to the point of break.
193
00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:02,528
I'm confiscating these.
194
00:07:02,529 --> 00:07:04,697
(Louise screams) (both gasp)
195
00:07:04,698 --> 00:07:06,916
Laters!
196
00:07:08,568 --> 00:07:10,786
What just friggin' happened?!
197
00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:20,388
So, I couldn't help notice
198
00:07:20,389 --> 00:07:22,390
someone doesn't have
their bunny ears on.
199
00:07:22,424 --> 00:07:23,891
Ha-ha! I know, right?
200
00:07:23,892 --> 00:07:25,943
It's, uh, been a pretty long time
201
00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:27,878
since we've seen you
without your... Too long!
202
00:07:27,879 --> 00:07:29,113
Too... long!
203
00:07:29,114 --> 00:07:30,915
Okay.
204
00:07:30,916 --> 00:07:33,117
Louise, maybe you'd feel better
if you told Mom and Dad...
205
00:07:33,151 --> 00:07:34,485
How happy I am?
206
00:07:34,486 --> 00:07:36,120
Mom, up high. Hey! Oh!
207
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:37,788
I'll take one. You got it, bro!
208
00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:39,156
Whoo!
209
00:07:39,157 --> 00:07:40,958
Whew. Oh. Geez.
210
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:43,561
Do you think I should
go talk to her, Bobby?
211
00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:45,062
No, you shouldn't!
212
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:46,430
I'm great! Just fantastic!
213
00:07:46,431 --> 00:07:48,332
(door slams) Uh, maybe wait.
214
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:49,774
(school bell rings)
215
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:51,902
You're not wearing your ears today.
216
00:07:51,903 --> 00:07:53,437
Or are they invisible?
217
00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:55,072
Ha-ha-ha!
Invisible?!
218
00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:57,408
Where do you come up with this stuff?
219
00:07:57,409 --> 00:08:00,745
Your mind is so beautiful!
220
00:08:03,431 --> 00:08:04,832
Yeah, take it in!
221
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:07,802
Whoa, Louise, not
wearing your bunny ears?
222
00:08:07,836 --> 00:08:09,353
This is big.
223
00:08:09,354 --> 00:08:11,422
Lots of issues to discuss,
feelings to process.
224
00:08:11,423 --> 00:08:13,691
Oh, yeah, tell me about it, Mr. Frond!
225
00:08:13,692 --> 00:08:15,543
I am processing up a storm,
226
00:08:15,544 --> 00:08:18,462
but I could really use
a processing-partner!
227
00:08:18,463 --> 00:08:21,115
Me?! Great idea! Your office?
228
00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:22,983
Five minutes? Yeah!
229
00:08:23,018 --> 00:08:24,351
I'm out of here.
230
00:08:24,352 --> 00:08:25,953
I'm gonna wait for
that punk at the Steps
231
00:08:25,954 --> 00:08:27,221
and get my ears back.
232
00:08:27,222 --> 00:08:28,622
We'll come with you.
233
00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:31,158
No. You guys go home
and lie to Mom and Dad.
234
00:08:31,159 --> 00:08:32,827
Good. I'm a liar, not a fighter.
235
00:08:32,861 --> 00:08:34,611
Louise, wait. What?
236
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:36,597
You want us to keep your dinner warm?
237
00:08:36,631 --> 00:08:38,849
Yeah. Real warm.
238
00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:43,838
Hello, I see you're
wearing my ears. Oh, they're
239
00:08:43,839 --> 00:08:45,039
off-center a smidge.
240
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,190
Let me just... (shrieks)
241
00:08:46,241 --> 00:08:48,275
Nice try, kid.
242
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,377
Fine. We're all young
professionals here.
243
00:08:50,378 --> 00:08:53,296
I'm Louise, by the way. I-I
don't think I got your name.
244
00:08:53,297 --> 00:08:54,348
Logan.
245
00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:55,683
Logan...
246
00:08:55,684 --> 00:08:57,051
what's this in my pocket?
247
00:08:57,052 --> 00:08:59,653
Oh, one, two, three, four, five, six,
248
00:08:59,654 --> 00:09:01,372
seven, eight, nine dollars for the hat.
249
00:09:01,406 --> 00:09:04,325
You can't buy me like a cheap sex lady!
250
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,826
(yells)
251
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:07,828
(chuckles) Too slow, down low.
252
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:09,396
Why don't you go back to plan-school
253
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:11,232
because looks like
you need a better one.
254
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,333
Why don't you go to plan-school?!
255
00:09:13,351 --> 00:09:14,969
Why don't you? Why don't you?
256
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,021
No, you, why don't you? Why don't you?!
257
00:09:17,022 --> 00:09:18,272
No, why don't you? Why don't you?!
258
00:09:19,574 --> 00:09:21,175
What do we do with this card?
259
00:09:21,176 --> 00:09:22,510
Take it down? It's creepy.
260
00:09:22,511 --> 00:09:24,044
Are you crazy?
261
00:09:24,045 --> 00:09:25,713
Remember when you took
down that charity jar?
262
00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:28,082
You saw how pissed those
breast cancer people got.
263
00:09:28,116 --> 00:09:29,850
Hey, parentals. Where's Louise?
264
00:09:29,885 --> 00:09:32,052
Um... Hat shopping?
265
00:09:32,053 --> 00:09:33,354
Shopping for hats.
266
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,722
Huh, that makes sense.
267
00:09:34,723 --> 00:09:36,290
I guess Louise needs to transition
268
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:37,925
from bunny ears to something.
269
00:09:37,926 --> 00:09:40,461
Like training wheels. Like
when we got a fish for Gene
270
00:09:40,462 --> 00:09:42,730
to prove he was responsible
enough to get a dog.
271
00:09:42,731 --> 00:09:44,732
I was not. That poor fish.
272
00:09:45,934 --> 00:09:47,701
So, where are we going?
273
00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:49,687
My calendar is wide open.
274
00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:52,139
Yeah, well, uh, I'm home now.
275
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,741
So, run along, little doggie.
276
00:09:53,775 --> 00:09:55,242
No, we're home now.
277
00:09:55,243 --> 00:09:56,944
Until I get those ears back,
278
00:09:56,978 --> 00:09:59,480
wherever you go, I go.
279
00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:05,085
Going to school, Logan? I'll join you.
280
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,420
Let's do it.
281
00:10:06,421 --> 00:10:07,988
(yells) Nope.
282
00:10:07,989 --> 00:10:10,758
Logan, Logan, Logan,
Logan. What do you do?
283
00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:12,860
You go to your locker
before you go to class
284
00:10:12,894 --> 00:10:14,061
or you go to class? Gotta pee?
285
00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:15,429
What's the routine here?
286
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:17,498
You know, I could
pee... in the boys' room.
287
00:10:17,499 --> 00:10:19,333
Well, you think I won't go in there?
288
00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:20,467
I'm not giving up, Logan.
289
00:10:20,468 --> 00:10:21,869
I will wear you down.
290
00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:24,121
I got a prom date because of these ears.
291
00:10:24,122 --> 00:10:26,006
My practice S.A.T. scores went up.
292
00:10:26,007 --> 00:10:27,608
I'm not giving up, either.
293
00:10:29,277 --> 00:10:30,611
Whoo! It stinks in here.
294
00:10:30,612 --> 00:10:32,603
Welcome to boys' smell.
295
00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:45,743
Logan! I like your bunny ears.
296
00:10:45,744 --> 00:10:47,111
Thanks, Shanaya.
297
00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:50,948
LOUISE: They're not his ears! (yells)
298
00:10:50,982 --> 00:10:54,118
Oh, sorry you had to leave so soon!
299
00:10:54,119 --> 00:10:57,705
Let the record show that I
tried to reason with you, Logan!
300
00:10:57,706 --> 00:10:59,881
Now I have to go nuclear!
301
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:02,493
Can I help you?
302
00:11:02,527 --> 00:11:04,161
I hope I'm not interrupting
303
00:11:04,162 --> 00:11:06,330
dinner, ma'am, but your son... (sighs)
304
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:08,165
he stole something of mine.
305
00:11:08,199 --> 00:11:09,633
Logan!
306
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:11,835
You took this girl's bunny ears?
307
00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:14,855
I didn't want to tattle,
but you left me no choice.
308
00:11:14,889 --> 00:11:16,307
Yeah. I took 'em.
309
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:18,626
Return them. Now. I threw 'em away.
310
00:11:18,627 --> 00:11:19,960
I told you you'd never get 'em back.
311
00:11:19,995 --> 00:11:22,528
Bull, you threw them
away. Search my room.
312
00:11:22,547 --> 00:11:23,998
Ugh, Logan.
313
00:11:23,999 --> 00:11:26,317
Sorry, I'll write you a check. $20?
314
00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:27,668
20 seems a bit high, honey.
315
00:11:27,669 --> 00:11:29,036
Oh, God, Tom. Not now!
316
00:11:29,070 --> 00:11:31,171
Where did you throw them away?
317
00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:32,640
Pancho's Tacos.
318
00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:35,025
Which one, Logan? It's a chain!
319
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,011
The good one. The one on Riverside.
320
00:11:52,243 --> 00:11:54,261
Uh, kid, what you're
looking for was incinerated.
321
00:11:54,262 --> 00:11:55,512
It's gone.
322
00:11:55,513 --> 00:11:57,564
Pfft. Burned up. Sorry.
323
00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:01,235
No!
324
00:12:01,269 --> 00:12:03,704
(sobbing)
325
00:12:05,106 --> 00:12:07,524
(laughing crazily)
326
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:11,195
Revenge.
327
00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:13,013
Is this it? No!
328
00:12:13,014 --> 00:12:14,615
Are these it? It's pink with ears.
329
00:12:14,616 --> 00:12:15,949
Oh, then they're gone. It's a hat.
330
00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:17,682
No. Then they're gone.
331
00:12:21,255 --> 00:12:23,139
Hey, I remember this hat.
332
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:24,607
It was gonna be my thing. Remember?
333
00:12:24,641 --> 00:12:26,058
I could pull this off. Right?
334
00:12:26,059 --> 00:12:28,928
Um... yeah, of course you can!
335
00:12:28,929 --> 00:12:31,197
There she is, my little big girl.
336
00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:32,748
Tina and Gene told us
337
00:12:32,749 --> 00:12:34,417
you were in the market
for an in-between hat,
338
00:12:34,418 --> 00:12:36,051
so we dug some out of the closet.
339
00:12:36,052 --> 00:12:37,386
Maybe not this one.
340
00:12:37,387 --> 00:12:38,604
You probably don't want this one.
341
00:12:38,605 --> 00:12:40,072
How thoughtful of you all,
342
00:12:40,073 --> 00:12:42,492
but I don't need a hat to complete me.
343
00:12:42,493 --> 00:12:44,961
I'm all I need. Just me.
344
00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:46,429
That's what I keep telling you.
345
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,663
Good night, Linda.
346
00:12:47,664 --> 00:12:49,232
Thank you for thinking about me.
347
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:50,433
You're welcome.
348
00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:51,968
All I need is that hat!
349
00:12:51,969 --> 00:12:54,069
Mine!
350
00:12:55,255 --> 00:12:57,240
LOGAN: Look who it is.
351
00:12:57,241 --> 00:12:59,425
Surprised you don't have pig
ears on, the way you squeal.
352
00:12:59,426 --> 00:13:00,626
(laughs)
353
00:13:00,661 --> 00:13:02,128
Ha! Ha! Ha!
354
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:03,763
Question. How's your hearing?
355
00:13:03,797 --> 00:13:05,565
Uh, pretty good. Why?
356
00:13:05,599 --> 00:13:07,333
Well, then I guess you can hear that.
357
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:08,601
(motorcycles rumbling)
358
00:13:10,671 --> 00:13:12,772
That's the sound of revenge.
359
00:13:12,773 --> 00:13:14,023
Uh...
360
00:13:16,927 --> 00:13:19,278
For taking that which wasn't yours,
361
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:22,097
I have summoned the wrath
of the One Eyed Snakes!
362
00:13:22,098 --> 00:13:24,784
Hell hath no fury like...
363
00:13:25,802 --> 00:13:28,271
Kill the bikes for a second!
364
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:31,591
Thank you.
365
00:13:31,592 --> 00:13:33,292
Hell hath no fury...
366
00:13:33,293 --> 00:13:35,328
Did you hear that part?
About hell? Yeah, I think so.
367
00:13:35,329 --> 00:13:37,129
Good. 'Cause the rest of it is,
368
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:41,651
"Hell hath no fury like I do, Logan!"
369
00:13:41,652 --> 00:13:43,352
You took my ears and threw them away.
370
00:13:43,353 --> 00:13:44,954
And now these guys
371
00:13:44,955 --> 00:13:47,657
are going to take your
ears and throw them away.
372
00:13:47,658 --> 00:13:50,393
What?
373
00:13:51,678 --> 00:13:52,979
Oh, boy.
374
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,547
I'm going to watch through my fingers.
375
00:13:54,548 --> 00:13:56,215
No, I'm not. I'm going to look away.
376
00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:57,683
I think we're gonna have to lay low
377
00:13:57,684 --> 00:13:58,818
for a little while after this.
378
00:13:58,819 --> 00:14:01,654
Oh, God, don't cut my ears off!
379
00:14:01,655 --> 00:14:03,456
Ha! Ho!
380
00:14:03,457 --> 00:14:05,825
I hate when shirt tags stick
out. Here, here, here, here!
381
00:14:05,859 --> 00:14:07,660
I never threw them out, okay?
382
00:14:07,661 --> 00:14:09,345
(crying): I'm so sorry!
383
00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:11,013
M-My ears.
384
00:14:16,637 --> 00:14:19,021
Please don't cut off my ears!
385
00:14:19,022 --> 00:14:20,423
Leave 'em where they are.
386
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,174
They... they look good in that position.
387
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:23,476
Can I look yet?
388
00:14:23,477 --> 00:14:24,977
Nee-ya... I'll let you know.
389
00:14:24,978 --> 00:14:27,013
My hands smell like onions. It's nice.
390
00:14:27,047 --> 00:14:29,181
Don't ever mess with us again, Logan.
391
00:14:29,182 --> 00:14:31,183
Now, get the hell outta here! Ah!
392
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,902
Yeah! That's how you do it!
393
00:14:32,936 --> 00:14:34,704
That's how you do it!
394
00:14:37,599 --> 00:14:39,859
(motorcycle rumbles)
395
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:43,396
No, no, no, no, we just
got the place back together.
396
00:14:43,397 --> 00:14:45,848
(engines rumbling,
bikers laughing, talking)
397
00:14:48,685 --> 00:14:51,153
Welcome back, fellas. How are you?
398
00:14:51,188 --> 00:14:52,555
LINDA: Kids?
399
00:14:52,589 --> 00:14:53,956
What's going on?
400
00:14:53,957 --> 00:14:55,107
Louise, you're wearing your ears again.
401
00:14:55,108 --> 00:14:56,542
Yeah, some kids stole 'em
402
00:14:56,543 --> 00:14:58,094
and these mamma-jammas got 'em back!
403
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:01,580
Mamma-jammas, what?
Your ears were stolen?
404
00:15:01,615 --> 00:15:04,016
Yup. I cashed in the card
the One Eyed Snakes gave us.
405
00:15:04,051 --> 00:15:05,885
Good to see you again, Bob. Nice hat.
406
00:15:05,919 --> 00:15:07,720
Ah, really? Yeah, you think so?
407
00:15:07,754 --> 00:15:10,089
Oh, and I told them food
and drinks are on the house.
408
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:11,324
No. They... that's... No.
409
00:15:11,358 --> 00:15:12,591
I don't think that's...
410
00:15:12,592 --> 00:15:13,960
Ya hear that, boys? Go crazy!
411
00:15:13,961 --> 00:15:15,795
All right! Yay! No. No. No, no, no.
412
00:15:15,796 --> 00:15:17,096
All right, let's go crazy.
413
00:15:17,097 --> 00:15:18,564
Please don't go crazy.
414
00:15:18,565 --> 00:15:20,950
(talking, laughing)
415
00:15:22,152 --> 00:15:23,602
Um, can I help you folks?
416
00:15:23,603 --> 00:15:24,904
Yes.
417
00:15:24,905 --> 00:15:26,572
We are parents in this community,
418
00:15:26,573 --> 00:15:28,975
and we're marching on your
filthy, dangerous biker bar.
419
00:15:28,976 --> 00:15:30,376
We're not a biker bar.
420
00:15:30,377 --> 00:15:32,895
You are serving beer to a ton of bikers.
421
00:15:32,929 --> 00:15:34,630
Tom, please.
422
00:15:34,631 --> 00:15:37,216
This biker bar is the reason
our town is going down the tubes.
423
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:38,985
And we will not allow
424
00:15:38,986 --> 00:15:41,053
violence against our
children to continue.
425
00:15:41,054 --> 00:15:42,288
Violence!
426
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,606
Violence? What violence?
427
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,226
Those bikers wanted to cut off my ears.
428
00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:48,794
Oh, God.
429
00:15:48,795 --> 00:15:50,763
Ah, calm down, we weren't
gonna cut off any ears.
430
00:15:50,764 --> 00:15:52,248
Don't listen to him. He would have.
431
00:15:52,249 --> 00:15:54,100
No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you would.
432
00:15:54,101 --> 00:15:55,634
I'm tellin' ya, I would
not... I think you would have.
433
00:15:55,635 --> 00:15:57,470
You don't know my mind!
434
00:15:57,504 --> 00:16:00,406
You see, I was just teachin'
these little bullies a lesson.
435
00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:03,109
So this is the brat who
picked on my Louise, huh?
436
00:16:03,143 --> 00:16:04,610
Let me tell you something, Miss Priss.
437
00:16:04,611 --> 00:16:06,479
Lin... No. I got this.
438
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,615
These bikers aren't the problem
in this town; it's your kids.
439
00:16:09,616 --> 00:16:10,850
They're a bunch of animals.
440
00:16:10,851 --> 00:16:12,651
Yeah, lady! Control your kids.
441
00:16:12,686 --> 00:16:15,287
Oh, it is your kids who
cannot be controlled.
442
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,074
She's right. I'm out of control.
443
00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:19,225
Oh, why don't you go
fart in a phone booth!
444
00:16:19,259 --> 00:16:20,526
(making fart noises)
445
00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:21,844
All right, Lin, calm down.
446
00:16:21,845 --> 00:16:23,662
You tell this hussy to calm down.
447
00:16:23,663 --> 00:16:24,980
Yeah, calm it, hussy!
448
00:16:24,981 --> 00:16:26,849
Do not call my wife a whore.
449
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:28,651
Oh, I will not calm it.
450
00:16:28,685 --> 00:16:30,136
(grunts) BIKER: Love a catfight.
451
00:16:30,137 --> 00:16:31,504
Ah! Ooh.
452
00:16:31,538 --> 00:16:33,139
(grunting)
453
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:34,390
Lin, stop... Ah!
454
00:16:34,391 --> 00:16:35,641
Don't do this... Ooh...
455
00:16:35,642 --> 00:16:36,742
Pull out her highlights, Mom.
456
00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:38,010
All right, all right,
457
00:16:38,011 --> 00:16:40,129
everybody just calm down. Ah!
458
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:42,131
(gasping, murmuring)
459
00:16:48,655 --> 00:16:51,724
Pick that up, apologize and leave.
460
00:16:51,725 --> 00:16:53,359
Please. For your own good.
461
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,696
I will do no such thing.
462
00:16:56,821 --> 00:16:58,664
Shoulda left when you coulda left.
463
00:16:58,698 --> 00:17:00,583
Everyone who's got a knife, grab it!
464
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,658
It's a fight to the death!
465
00:17:06,188 --> 00:17:08,840
(murmuring)
466
00:17:08,874 --> 00:17:10,708
Hey, hey, you can't fight
these people, Critter.
467
00:17:10,709 --> 00:17:12,510
You'll... you'll destroy them.
468
00:17:12,544 --> 00:17:14,779
When somebody messes with
the One Eyed Snake's colors,
469
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:15,913
they gotta pay.
470
00:17:15,914 --> 00:17:17,448
My leadership's on the line.
471
00:17:17,449 --> 00:17:19,550
I got no choice... we
gotta hurt these people.
472
00:17:19,585 --> 00:17:20,952
Would Horny Dave have his men
473
00:17:20,953 --> 00:17:22,553
beat up some white collar parents?
474
00:17:22,588 --> 00:17:25,123
Horny Dave is dead.
475
00:17:25,124 --> 00:17:27,091
All right, it's goin'
on now, here it goes.
476
00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:28,359
They're just bluffing.
477
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,194
The One Eyed Snakes don't bluff.
478
00:17:30,195 --> 00:17:31,529
Neither do the Belcher kids!
479
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:32,764
Except when we do.
480
00:17:32,765 --> 00:17:34,015
Yeah! Let's keep shouting stuff!
481
00:17:34,016 --> 00:17:35,369
Screw inside voices!
482
00:17:35,384 --> 00:17:37,413
Okay, I'm calling the police.
483
00:17:37,419 --> 00:17:39,370
TOM: No!
484
00:17:39,371 --> 00:17:40,538
My running mix!
485
00:17:40,539 --> 00:17:42,406
Oh, enough talk. Let's kick...
486
00:17:42,407 --> 00:17:43,791
(groans)
487
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,359
Mudflap, are you okay?
488
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,095
I'm fine, it was just
a contraction. Let's...
489
00:17:47,096 --> 00:17:49,263
(groans) Contraction?
490
00:17:49,264 --> 00:17:51,632
You're in labor?
491
00:17:51,633 --> 00:17:53,734
Hold that kid in till
we're done! I'll try.
492
00:17:53,769 --> 00:17:55,570
(groaning): No, I can't.
493
00:17:55,571 --> 00:17:57,905
This baby's coming.
Oh, this baby's coming.
494
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,458
I'll call an ambulance. I'm a doctor.
495
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,326
Well, then get the hell
over here! All right.
496
00:18:02,327 --> 00:18:03,778
Get under the hood
and check the oil, Doc.
497
00:18:03,779 --> 00:18:05,079
(groans)
498
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,481
Okay. Okay, okay.
499
00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:08,316
Uh, how far apart are the contractions?
500
00:18:08,317 --> 00:18:11,586
They are not. Oh! Wow. Okay.
501
00:18:11,587 --> 00:18:12,820
This baby is coming now.
502
00:18:12,821 --> 00:18:14,155
Like right into my hand.
503
00:18:14,156 --> 00:18:15,389
Hang in there, Mudflap, hang in there.
504
00:18:15,424 --> 00:18:17,091
Don't forget to breathe.
505
00:18:17,092 --> 00:18:18,759
Do you want me to get you
a wooden spoon to bite on?
506
00:18:18,794 --> 00:18:20,962
Oh, forget the spoon. Get me whiskey.
507
00:18:20,963 --> 00:18:22,330
Um, I'm not sure whiskey is...
508
00:18:22,331 --> 00:18:23,764
I have a flask in my golf bag.
509
00:18:23,799 --> 00:18:25,066
Yeah, I got one here, somewhere...
510
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,135
I got some whip-its. Here. Take mine.
511
00:18:27,136 --> 00:18:28,769
Hold on a sec.
512
00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:31,189
Okay, you're doing great.
513
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:32,456
Uh, what's your name?
514
00:18:32,457 --> 00:18:34,008
Mudflap. Oh, Mudflap, uh...
515
00:18:34,009 --> 00:18:35,276
that was my grandmother's name.
516
00:18:35,277 --> 00:18:37,128
Really? No, no.
517
00:18:37,129 --> 00:18:38,996
You're named after a
dirty part of a truck.
518
00:18:38,997 --> 00:18:40,264
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, keep breathing.
519
00:18:40,299 --> 00:18:41,477
Okay. And...
520
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,801
ready... push!
521
00:18:43,836 --> 00:18:45,436
Ugh. Just pretend it's lasagna.
522
00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:47,305
(Mudflap groans)
523
00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:49,307
I don't know how Mudflap's
doing this without an epidura
524
00:18:49,308 --> 00:18:50,708
If I didn't have one with Logan?
525
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:52,610
Whoo! Ugh, tell me about it.
526
00:18:52,611 --> 00:18:54,278
Those two? Piece of cake.
527
00:18:54,313 --> 00:18:55,783
That one? A whole cake.
528
00:18:55,814 --> 00:18:58,482
I'm sorry my Logan picked on your kids.
529
00:18:58,483 --> 00:18:59,984
Hey. I'm sorry my kids
530
00:18:59,985 --> 00:19:02,122
had bikers threaten to
cut your kid's ears off.
531
00:19:02,154 --> 00:19:04,021
I need you guys to hold up
her knees, just like this...
532
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:05,857
Okay. I see the head.
533
00:19:05,858 --> 00:19:07,491
(Mudflap groans) Oh, I
looked. That's a head.
534
00:19:07,492 --> 00:19:08,793
I hope that's a head.
535
00:19:08,794 --> 00:19:09,994
I shouldn't have looked. I looked.
536
00:19:10,028 --> 00:19:11,863
One more big push, Mudflap!
537
00:19:11,897 --> 00:19:13,164
Okay!
538
00:19:13,165 --> 00:19:15,299
(groans) Here it comes!
539
00:19:15,334 --> 00:19:17,235
(groans)
540
00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:19,370
(baby crying) ALL: Aw.
541
00:19:19,371 --> 00:19:21,672
CRITTER: Look at that.
"Not it" to clean the table.
542
00:19:21,673 --> 00:19:23,441
It's a boy. Barely.
543
00:19:23,475 --> 00:19:26,043
Mudflap, is there someone
you'd like to cut the cord?
544
00:19:26,044 --> 00:19:27,979
His daddy.
545
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:29,447
But Horny Dave's dead.
546
00:19:29,481 --> 00:19:32,917
No, Critter, Horny Dave
had a vasectomy in '95.
547
00:19:32,918 --> 00:19:35,553
Come here. What are you saying, woman?
548
00:19:35,587 --> 00:19:36,988
This baby's yours.
549
00:19:37,022 --> 00:19:38,356
I still don't understand.
550
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:42,193
Critter, we had sex
and you knocked me up...
551
00:19:42,194 --> 00:19:44,028
Slow down! Slow down!
552
00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:46,197
This baby is your spawn.
553
00:19:46,198 --> 00:19:48,015
Oh...
554
00:19:48,016 --> 00:19:49,517
Wait a minute, what do you mean?
555
00:19:49,518 --> 00:19:51,269
(sniffs) You're a daddy.
556
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,703
From when?
557
00:19:52,704 --> 00:19:54,889
Sometimes the one you
slept with nine months ago
558
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:56,874
was right in front of you all along.
559
00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:58,709
Oh, Mudflap.
560
00:19:58,710 --> 00:20:00,127
Give me that cord.
561
00:20:00,162 --> 00:20:01,529
(people exclaiming)
562
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:03,664
Okay, are we gonna have the fight now?
563
00:20:03,665 --> 00:20:06,384
Or... Louise, there's gonna be no fight.
564
00:20:06,385 --> 00:20:09,837
This little kid squashed a beef
better than Horny Dave ever did.
565
00:20:09,838 --> 00:20:11,572
My boy. How 'bout that?
566
00:20:11,607 --> 00:20:12,840
Here, Creature.
567
00:20:12,874 --> 00:20:14,275
Critter. Right.
568
00:20:14,276 --> 00:20:15,876
Maybe you could use
it as a baby blanket.
569
00:20:15,911 --> 00:20:17,378
Oh. Thank you.
570
00:20:17,412 --> 00:20:20,031
And thanks for getting
your hands dirty, Doc.
571
00:20:20,065 --> 00:20:21,299
No problem.
572
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,084
Aw. Parents helping bikers
573
00:20:23,135 --> 00:20:24,585
who are now parents.
574
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,537
See, our town has its problems.
575
00:20:26,538 --> 00:20:27,722
But it doesn't mean
576
00:20:27,756 --> 00:20:29,257
it's going in the crapper.
577
00:20:29,258 --> 00:20:31,378
It just means if we want
to be a better neighborhood,
578
00:20:31,393 --> 00:20:34,462
we have to be better
neighbors to each other.
579
00:20:34,463 --> 00:20:35,997
Boo! Boo!
580
00:20:36,031 --> 00:20:37,315
Stinks! Okay, Louise, come on.
581
00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:38,549
Thanks a lot. It's okay.
582
00:20:38,583 --> 00:20:39,917
You were very brave.
583
00:20:39,918 --> 00:20:41,319
You stood up for yourself,
584
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,220
got help from dangerous bikers,
585
00:20:43,221 --> 00:20:44,722
all without your ears.
586
00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:46,407
Maybe you don't need them anymore.
587
00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:47,908
Maybe.
588
00:20:47,909 --> 00:20:50,478
And maybe I know someone
who needs them more than me
589
00:20:50,479 --> 00:20:53,664
Look, these ears mean
a lot to you, Logan,
590
00:20:53,665 --> 00:20:55,566
so how about you keep 'em?
591
00:20:55,567 --> 00:20:57,902
Really? No friggin' way!
592
00:20:57,903 --> 00:20:59,904
I was just messing with you, you idiot!
593
00:20:59,905 --> 00:21:01,455
Ah! Oh!
594
00:21:01,456 --> 00:21:03,791
Welcome home, ears.
Let's get you a beer.
595
00:21:03,825 --> 00:21:05,259
Dad, two beers. No.
596
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:06,982
They're for my ears!
597
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:11,582
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